ZOMG Scamz!

In the “I can’t believe they even have the intelligence to turn a computer on” file, apparently some people are in disbelief that white items sold by a vendor named “Griftah” might not actually work.

Quote: “So I purchased the item and proceed to configure Itemrack to equip it anytime I eat or drink conjured food in hopes to regen my HP/Mana quicker. Well guess what, it doesn’t work!! I tested my mana regen rate BEFORE and AFTER equipping it and both times I remained at 346 mana every 2 sec.

*deep sigh* I guess I’m a fool for falling for this scam, but I’m really surprised and disappointed that Blizzard actually has NPCs in the game selling things that don’t work - especially when it costs 25g! Now I’m off to test the “Compassion Critter’s Friend” with my riding gear, although I highly doubt it will work either which puts me out another 20g.”

January/February Drama Contest

Obviously, we can’t be on every server watching the drama that goes down. We’ve got to hit level 70, and help our fish head shammy or BE pally guildies get up there to raid with us! So we depend on you, the readers, to sometimes find the good dirt for us. So to reward you for your great stories, this month we’re going to give the authors of the top two submitted bits of drama 60 day prepaid cards. That’s right, you show us how scary the World of Warcraft can be, and we’ll feed your addiction. We know that’s like having a track mark contest and giving the winner free heroin. Show us your best RP server melodrama, your best PVP server griefing bitchfest, whatever you’ve got.

Just use the handy submission form to your right, send any screenshots or additional files to wowdrama@gmail.com, and we’ll take a look. We don’t care if it’s drama you’ve started, just make you submit it to us yourself before someone else does. We’ll throw up a public vote for drama submitted between now and February 18^th, and voting will close on February 25^th. The winners can have the card mailed to them or just the code emailed to them, their choice. Good luck!

i guess im a bit shy when it comes to being in groups with people i don’t even know

Found over at AFK Gamer (the greatest WoW blog out there, and a must read for any raider.) Socks from Jaedenar posts, begging for help under the subject, “im a girl and im new to WoW.” Only, they do it from their male 60 pally by mistake, complete with pally sig and ctprofile link.

my character is lvl 22 right now..human rogue and im in re-ridge. i did all the easier solo quests and all i have left in re-ridge are the harder group quests. i guess im a bit shy when it comes to being in groups with people i dont even know so should i continue to complete those quests? or should i go to darkshirt and start doing solo quests there?

Whoops! They’re immediately called out on it, and delete the thread. Luckily, Foton from AFK Gamer took a screen shot (found here on Flickr (make sure you view it at original size)), and a furl archive (found here).

Levelling to 70 as fast as humanly possible…OR ELSE

Chitsu, from Six Feet Deep on Dragonmaw, takes the levelling of his guild just a tad too seriously.

All members of the guild are expected to level to 70 as fast as humanly possible.

If you want to “experience the content” please do so after you have reached 70, or on another character.

Here is how we will be leveling:

You will log in to the game, and look for an officer. One of the officers will assign you to a 5 man group. The 5 man group will run the appropriate instance level over and over again until someone has to leave, at which point, an officer will assign a replacement.

No questing
No BGs
No ‘grinding solo’
No Tradeskills
No “farming”
No “Checking out the new races”

If you are online, you will be expected to participate in one of the groups running 5 man instances.

The only exceptions to this will be if there are not enough people for you to group with, etc. There will be PLENTY of off-hours downtime to goof off if you wish, but during prime-time, I swear to Thrall I will /gkick your ass if you are screwing around with stupid #%*! instead of participating in the leveling grind.

He gets roundly mocked, as well deserved, but never seems to admit that he could possibly be the one at fault.

Especially funny are his comments about fairness being the reason behind this nazi-levelling regime: “Having the officers assign groups is the best way to assure balance, and the best way to avoid little cliques forming and causing people to be left out,” and that “SFD members are treated more like prized athletes than kids. It’s my job to provide clear direction and focus so that our team is all on the same page working toward the same goal. It’s called leadership.”

Classic WoW Drama, Vol. 2: Serenity Now

In a game with 7 millon plus players, drama of some type is inevitable, and usually constant. Hell, in any gathering of two or more people, drama of some type is inevitable, and usually constant. Even in this constant stream, however, there are some dramas that rise above to become known throughout the WoWsphere. They become… Classic WoW Drama.

There was a woman who really enjoyed playing WoW. She died of a stroke. Her friends and guild members decided to hold an online funeral for her, in-game, so that anyone who wished could log in and walk up to her and pay their respects. They held the funeral in Wintersprings (sic). They play on a PVP server. They announced the funeral on forums and chatlines.

Can you guess what happened?

-Sharkbait

Fayejin of Illidan dies in unfortunate circumstances (or at least internet dies, who knows.) A tribute is planned where people can pay their respects in-game.

Quote: “We will be having it at the Frostfire Hot Springs in Winterspring, because she loved to fish in the game (she liked the sound of the water, it was calming for her ) and she loved snow. If you would like to come show your respects please do. We’re planning some cool stuff and we’re going to make a video of it to show her family. So I would appreciate it if nobody comes to mess things up.”

Unfortunately (well, fortunately for us), someone does mess things up: Alliance guild Serenity Now. A long line up of horde, not ready for a fight, it’s easy pickings. Red is dead, right?

Quote: “she loved fishing.”
“and snow.”
“and pvp.”

Anger ensues.

Quotes, cribbed from the video: “Yes, its real easy to be an asshole behind a keyboard and get away with it..Shows just how well shit clings to the asshole …Example: azchira and his band of dingleberries.”

“You are added to the to be camped list.”

“Congradulations you have stooped lower then any other guild in MMO history.”

“Your fucking trash, you are not good enuff to lick the dog shit from a beggers boots you fucking degenrate sorry excuses for mentaly retarded humans.”

“I hope azshira’s dad dies of a heart attack, then at the funeral some guy runs in naked and pushes the coffin over and runs around slapping people screaming LOL OWNED, then releases a video of it.”

“Seriously? Ya know why? Because you and all the rest of SN are real life pieces of shit that have nothing better to do then try to grief ppl as hardcore as possible. Instead of being REAL PVPers and entering BGs, you bitch out and gank lowbies and anally crave opportunities such as this one to make yourselves feel good inside, because IRL, ya’ll ain’t shit and ya know it.”

Serenity Now’s final words on the matter: “Sorry for your loss. Yes, we know we are assholes ”

Debate wasn’t limited to Illidan: see here, here and here.

It has begun!

Get your copy yet? Start your Draenei Shaman or Blood Elf Paladin yet? Spring for the collector’s edition?

Already people are oggling the new races. I haven’t seen a Netherwhelp yet, but I look forward to being asked a million times what the code for it was, just like when I run around with Murky.

Sometimes the immature tool on Vent really is 11

I know it’s old news (was on Digg and Joystiq last month), but this clip (alternate flashy video link) of Hobbs from Maelstrom is priceless for those in a cave who haven’t heard it yet.

“Just to let you know, my regular penis is bigger than your boner.
Just ask your mom, she knows.”
“At least I got a mom, unlike your homo dad.”

Elitemaiden: an introduction

Elitemaiden, former resident of Uldum currently plaguing Hyjal, is one of the top inspirations for the creation of this website. Every time I’ve brought up the idea of WoWDrama with compatriots from Uldum, she’s the first thing mentioned. The only problem is the sheer amount of drama that could be written about her, easily forming a tl;dr post.

In short, Elitemaiden is a sad and lonely woman who treats World of Warcraft as if it is real life. This is made hilarious by her playing on non-RP servers yet responding in character, her reporting of anyone who upsets her to Blizzard, and her amazing ability to piss off people faster than a poop-flinging monkey on PCP. In her world, anyone who plays Horde is evil, while she herself is a devout religious woman. She even compares herself transferring servers from Uldum to Hyjal to a missionary, going off into heathen lands. Add a bit of hormonal boycraziness, and you’ve got a drama delight that’s fun for the whole family!

Here’s a few of her most recent greatest hits, as well as some pertinent links to keep tabs on Uldum’s worst gift ever.

• First and foremost is her blog, kept at Xanga. RedFlowerMinnesota, a lonely self-described powerful mage, tells of her life. Gentlemen, she is still looking for Mr. Right! Unfortunately, she’s taken down a lot of the screen shots of people harassing her, but there’s still some gems left. See her account of her spat with Raypower, previously covered here on WoWDrama. That silly middle school gossip was written by a thirtysomething woman, I’m just sayin’.
• Someone else started a hate Xanga, called HyjalHatesElitemaiden. Every so often this blog calls her out on some screen shot she’s posted, which she’ll then yank from her blog. Also, some of the aforementioned shots of harassment can be found there, like the bukkake party in the Military Ward shot. Between the random videos and images, a few gems mocking her can be found. She’s been trying to get the Xanga account shut down, but hasn’t had any success as of this writing.
• Here’s an extensive conversation with Elitemaiden herself. Get a glimpse into the mind of a madwoman.
• Of course someone’s made a YTMND about the powerful mage.
• Hyjal had a Christmas gift for Uldum!

In light of recent events I feel it is my moral obligation to let the community of uldum know how welcome we here at hyjal have made elitemaiden feel.

As stated by someone before me, she has not been in any of the top 20 guilds on hyjal regardless of her supposed knowledge of end game and “powerful mage” gear.

She has formed raid partied of random people in order to enter such instances as MC, BWL and AQ40, leave the group and go afk inside the instance. Why? This seemed odd to me as well at first but when you think about it, when you do a /who ‘enternamehere’ and see AQ40 or BWL as their location you sense to some degree that the said person is good enough to enter such an instance. She understands this and assumes that people will respect her if she’s seen inside a 40 man instance when people do a /who elitemaiden. Of course it’s impossible for her to be doing anything other than picking her nose in said instances because nearly every single guild on hyjal capable of doing bwl and aq 40 have made it very clear that they will not ever allow elitemaiden in their raiding parties or guild.

She has been in a total of 4 guilds since she came to hyjal. She has been Gbooted from 3 of those guilds, 2 of which occured in less than 24 hours. One of these said guilds doesn’t even count actually, it was one she made “PVP QUEEN” in which she was the only member of and took advantage of random noobs to sign the charter. She was in that guild for roughly 1 and a half days before a coordinated effort between alliance and horde players got her killed in the middle of IF between the high traffic area of the bank and AH and people just stood there and laughed at her. So she left that guild because she clearly was not a pvp queen and she was infact a joke whom nobody likes. All these guilds in which shes claimed to have left for personal reason when questioned. But multiple officers and members of said guilds have confirmed that she was Gkicked from all of them.

Alliance and horde players of hyjal have formed a pact in which we both share a common interest in pvp situations. In battle grounds for example, if a horde player from hyjal (or any other server) is attacking elitemaiden, alliance players from hyjal have fully agreed that they will not attempt to stop the horde players who attack elitemaiden and will wait until she is dead to commence the attack on the rest of the horde players. Alliance people have gone so far as to sacrifice their winning games at times so that the horde players can farm elitemaiden.

Elitemaidens auctions are selling….Wait…They aren’t selling my mistake. 90% of hyjal has agreed to not buy a single item which is posted on the AH by her.

The only people who remotely show her any respect are those who are iggnorant to what she’s done. Everyone who has been following her trail of lies knows she is a walking catastrophy that will bring nothing but shame to whatever low end guild she manages to somehow con her way into.

Merry christmas uldum.

-Darkmetazare on Hyjal

• One of many random threads out there of people showing their love for the mighty wizard herself.

But really, no writings about her can top what she herself has graced the internet with. This entry, from her Xanga, was reproduced from her old website and is probably the most-quoted EM text out there. Enjoy.

Uldum, sometimes we know drama

In addition to the previously mentioned Elitemaiden (we’ll get to her one day, we promise, it’s just a question of working out where to begin), another Uldum forum favourite is Raypower, an over-inflated-ego-wielding guild leader who in one ROFL-worthy thread threatened to sue people for slander, with her “90% winning rate” internet lawyer.

In a delicious crushing blow (I’m au fait with the lingo) to her ego, Raypower had her account hacked. Apparently, 3 months was a bit long for her to wait. Watch her get angry, get self-important, and ultimately, get owned by an MVP and Big Blue - “ I am sorry to say that these issues are extremely time sensitive and in this particular case it seems that we were not contacted concerning the status of the account until nearly three months had passed since the investigation had been concluded. The unfortunate delay in your notification of concerns relating to the outcome of the investigation has regrettably resulted in our inability to reinvestigate the account for additional damages.”

Choice quotes:

“Get your blizzard heads out of your blizzard *****. I want ALL my stuff back and I will not take NO for an answer. And I will be very happy to post it on every realm on this game what a crappy job you did. Furthermore, I will write your President and any tech magazine I can find who will do a story on the crappy support and unpreparedness of this game to deal with fraud.

I’ve spent two years on this game and close to 500 bux to play it one account and if you think I’m taking your excuses lying down your crazy. I contacted your investigator. And your tech support person banned me from the forums after my post. I’m calling corporate. I’m tired of dealing with 22 year old support people on the forums. I contacted the investigator. He says he can’t restore the chars.

I’m tired of blizzard runaround. I’m not a 22 year old player. I’m a former sales coordinator for wired and glamour magazine,s conde’ nast publications, NY, NY. And they are about to get the whole story. So you can deal with me as a customer or you can deal with the press over the way you handle fraud. And complaints against your company on your forums. I have saved all this information. I have printed it all.

Furthermore I have been a customer for 2 years and my family presently owns 4 accounts.

And I’m not going to be treated like this by 20 year old blizzard tech children.”

Others have noticed her obsession with 22 year olds. Conde Nast must be so proud of the writing and editing skills they’ve infused Ray with.