Uldum Horde gets dramatic

Ah, drama. Sorry for our long absence from posting, but we’ve been busy doing other things that are less dramatic than this site requires. However, Uldum, that most wayward of backwater realms, has really stirred up the Hornet’s nest. Now it’s long been true that self-styled “High-End” raiding guilds are competitive with one another; some directly, some indirectly. So what happens when the furthest-progressed raiding guild on Uldum-Alliance, Poor Play, manages to bring the Iron Fist of Justice to Illidan? Well, the other progressed guilds on Uldum, especially the Horde guilds, start sniping at each other. It begins, as it always does, with an innocent recruitment post from Gentlemen’s Club, the most progressed Horde guild on the server:

LF healing Priest/Resto Shaman

Sounds innocent, no? Well, it’s not long before the trolls start in:

Lolwutlol:

“Oh crap! Time for any guild not as far progressed as GC to hold onto there members! Here comes the Nova-like poaching of the ‘’gearing up'’ guilds. Somethings never change. “

And then we get the tired, weak defenses:

Ztorm:

Meh, it’s not like we’re posting recruitment threads on the forums of other guilds lol. With recruitment as hard as it is, we’re just trying to get the word out to those skilled players who may have slid through the cracks =).

Some arbitrary, player-specific sniping by low-level alts:

Dek:

Q u o t e: Things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………

——————————————————————————–

Here’s Sirloine for you.

Last 30 Days: 37% of raids
Last 60 Days: 37% of raids
Last 90 Days: 41% of raids
Lifetime (02/12/07 - 10/07/07): 45% of raids

Quite a stelar raiding track record….maybe they should take you off our hands.

And then we had back to some quality complaining about poaching by anonymous cowards:

Yurtray:

42. Re: LF healing Priest/Resto Shaman | 10/23/2007 04:51:42 AM PDT

Why isnt this thread just in SB’s recruitment thread,since we all know they have the only other attuned priests on the server…what cracks skilled players fell through ,no one outside of GC knows…..

Things devolve much further below the break.

And now, the patented troll-tag-team (always a favorite around here), combining both a poaching complaint and a dig at a guild further down (because it’s always important, when being somewhere near the top, but not the top, to abuse those beneath you.):

Lolwutlol:

Maybe our Priests haven’t seen this thread yet, I’ll be sure to link it on the forums so we can loose even more members to GC. Hopefully LOL Skeleton Crew can kill Kael soon so they can start stealing there members instead.

Yurtray:

Then i would strongly suggest that a GC officer rename and retype this thread to: ATTN SB and SC priests! Have ya lost a lot of your friends to Gentlemens Club? Well,we have a spot for you! Right after you use your guild to get keyed for Hyjal,let us take you off there hands by giving you an endless repair bill from countless mundane boss attempt wipes cause wed rather have our buddies raid with us then skilled ppl.Who cares that we suck at 7 month old content,but were the best the server has!,even if we have 3/4 of uldum in our guild WE WANT YOU!

And now the thread takes a turn for the worst, as a Gentlemen’s Club officer feeds on troll-bait, and attempts the pervasively futile “Legitimate Argument” maneuver:

Ztorm:

Meh, w/e. We just killed a really hard boss (Reliquary of Souls) that our members/officers were proud of, so we thought we’d use it as an opportunity to bump our recruitment thread. /yawn @”poaching” of SB/SC players. It’s a 2-way street: some players from SB has joined us and we’ve also had 2 mages in our guild join SB (poor mage leadership imo!). I don’t think we’ve had anyone in the last few months join us from skelly crew except Vred. But he’s been god-awful so we’ve been trying to send him back. In the end, it’s all about finding a place you enjoy playing.

And now, because no thread is a good thread without some personal conflict, for no apparent reason, the drama gets amplified via introduction of a long-standing vendetta:

Vredesbyrd:

LOL. This thread is getting better and better, with all the SB hate from forum trolls, and even Brando popping in to rag on Blinkie, I mean wow, old times.

Ztorm, remind me, who was the top caster DPS on ROS last nights kill ? If any one would be voted off the Island, it would be you for letting a ret pally in the raid =P! Oh crap.. secrets outta the bag..

*runs before Brando enters thread, finds out GC used a ret pally for one boss and doesn’t let us live it down, ever*

Karmen (aka Brando):

Why would I care that GC used a Ret pally and how was I ragging on Blinkie? You really are full of yourself Vred to say the least. Grats on that……

As far as this recruiting stuff, this is a game. I doubt the world is going to stop spinning on it’s axis just because people make their own choices as far as how they’ll spend their time and money vis-a-vis WOW guilds. Other than more fodder for the trolls this is really non-issue much along the lines that Sirloine is saying.

More gas for the flames:

Yurtray:

You GC officers really are thick-headed. You come out and say your not here to poach SB/SC’s priests,yet the post is made on a server where 2 guilds could possibly meet your criteria. Im not sure about you guys,but this is a direct attempt to undermine our already thinned guilds so you can kill one boss,just to stroke your epeen harder in forums. GC has been a ruthless guild who dumps RL FRIENDS for ppl in the game who send them primals…… So tell me GC officers,who exactly fell through the cracks out here that your in so desperate need for? Did you ask any of your 300 spectators if theyd like a chance? Did you post this in guild recruitment thread,to get more ebayed priests like your most recent? Especially for the most part only us and 2 others even have killed a boss in SSC.

More Vendetta:

Vredesbyrd:

Damn straight I’m full of myself! I love me so much. Ragging on Blinkie? The way I read your post it seemed like a bash. And you seem to cling off the balls of ret pallies so much I thought you’d be happy to see a high end guild using one. Oh well, somethings never change.

Karmen/Brando:

Haha, yeah since GC used a Ret pally that means it’s A-OK for everybody. You’re a moron.

Vredesbyrd:

As are you. OI Brando, do you have a WSS report for whiney bad guild leading? Cause thats the only WSS you’ll ever top. Ass

Pwnt! I’m telling you, this is some solid, solid drama. But lets move away from that, and back to lame justifications and inter-guild sniping:

Mitur:

Wow, 3 bosses ahead of us after our guild lost 85% of our members in early BC and couldn’t field even a 10 man kara raid for a month or more, and then broke again at Kael and didn’t even see him for a month and a half or 2 months, no one really cares. Learn some humility. Neither guild is the golden child of the horde. If you think we’re done, think again. You’ve seen what we’ve gone through before, and we’ll go through it again probably. Doesn’t mean we won’t be on top of your asses again. Unlikely as it may seem. (This isn’t directed at GC, just the idiots posting.)

Nefertiti:

——————————————————————————–

Q u o t e: … Why would you post a recruitment thread in the server forums when you know the only people who could possibly fill the requirements are from two other progressing guilds if not to stir crap up? I mean, you have armory, can’t you just contact the few people who meet your requirements in game directly? Wouldn’t that get results without all the fuss?

——————————————————————————–

This has been SB’s tactic with recruiting SC folks. Probably why when I brought up taking a potential SB recruit to get his Vashj vial, the other officers said “No thanks”, but not so nicely, not even for 5k gold.

——————————————————————————–

Q u o t e: Do you have any idea what your talking about?

——————————————————————————–

Why yes, yes I do. Because it has been done while we are raiding and the whisperee says “Hey, I’m getting a whisper from someone in SB about leaving you losers and joining a real guild.” Has happened more than once, maybe it was not the officers but some random member that thought they should have more of class x.

This thread even gets a Public Defender-type, striving to right wrongs and defend the weak:

Georgie:

To anyone in SB who is butt-hurt that some people have left your uild to join a guild that is further in raid progression:

Get over it. Don’t take it personally when people leave your guild because they are loot!!#!!s and unwilling to stick it out through the tough times. Just keep their name on a list and never give them any sign of respect again.

To Lolwutlol: Ye who has consistently attempted to insult every other horde guild because they are not at the forefront of raid progression should not show up on a forum thread that fully shows another horde guild’s raid progression dominance over the guild to which you claim to belong. On another note, maybe you should just start claiming to be in GC from now on (no offense meant toward GC).

To Yurtray: Ye who will hide his identity, thereby giving up all claim to any accomplishments, has no right to question the accomplishments of others (least of all, Nightfall). Your very existence in this thread undermines the point you wanted to make when you showed up. To Megantic: You, sir, are the winner. That is all.

To Vredesbyrd: Stop caring about SC already. Please. For the love of all that is left of these forums.

To Mallinda: Thank you for buying all that adamantite ore. You supported the purchase of my epic flying mount and possibly the college education of my as yet unborn children.

To Johnnyheat: You probably don’t remember this at all but one day when I was levelling up (you were only a few levels higher than me) you helped me kill those elite dragons in the Badlands for a quest. You didn’t need it. You saw me doing it solo and failing miserably and you offered to help. This is the kind of person I look for in a guildie when it is my responsibility to do so. Although I’ve never interacted with you ingame other than that day (unless it was on an alt that I didn’t know about) I’m certain that with you actively leading SB Mitur’s conviction to catch up to GC will become reality. Good luck and tell that noob Barthug I said hi. p.s. I remember EVERYTHING.

And last, but certainly not least, the intimation that the leadership of Gentlemen’s Club is subtle, like the serpent:

Bubbajean:

——————————————————————————–

Q u o t e: TBH, we’ve had more drama on this damn recruitment pots than in our entire guild’s existence. So maybe it’s just uldum history, seeing how the majority of people who posted were here pre-BC

——————————————————————————–

GC is very good at avoiding external drama, and is run by some smart people. Posting this topic here, and now, was no doubt well thought out. So subtle, as if completely benign, and surely motivated by intention true to the original post’s content. Again, GC is run by some very smart people. And I don’t intent to be disparaging, a mousetrap is harmless to the sated mouse.

From the perspective of a fine conoisseur of drama, whinging, crying and hand-wringing, this thread delivers. It’s a like great, thick steamy goulash of wailing and salt tears. Amazing what a hit to the self-confidence will do to a server’s raiding community. From those of us here at Wowdrama.org, we salute you, Uldum Horde! You have enlivened our workday!

Blizzcon photos

Blizzcon is over, and what an event it was. Highlights include the guy (who managed to ask an annoying question at just about every panel) being booed away from the microphone for suggesting that the respec fee be increased. Retadin tears flowed like water through almost every panel, including panels that had little to do with class balance. Hearing a crowd of rabid WoWers chant “QQ” over and over as if they were at a metal concert was truly epic.

Expect drama over the Death Knight announcement, over some of the hilarious comments made by Blizzard employees over the course of the weekend (”this session isn’t for your welfare epics, this is for those who EARN their epics.”), and over throwaway comments taken and overanalyzed to their worst possible conclusion. WoW, after all, is serious business.

My photographs from the event can be found here, on Flickr. This one is my favorite, as it sums up the source for some of the most common guildie on guildie drama:

IM IN YUR CON, LAFFIN AT YUR DRAMAZ

Eddie Bax and I are currently in lovely Anaheim, California for Blizzcon. We’ll throw some name badges on or something. Tell us your best drama and we’ll buy you a drink. Buy us a drink, and we’ll pretend to laugh at your stories.

UPDATE: Yes, they included hand sanitizer with the schwag. Make of that what you will.

Creeeeeepy! WoW love = jail

Thanks to Todd Conflict for this one:

He writes:

“Some people don’t like that their significant other plays too much WoW, some people travel halfway around the world to pick up an underage guy half their age that they met on WoW.

Amazing.”

The story on Kotaku goes like this:

A 31-year-old Australian university student is being held in lieu of $2.35 million bail in North Carolina after allegedly flying there to pick up her 17-year-old World of Warcraft boyfriend and fly him back to Adelaide with her, Pitt County Sheriff’s officials said.

Tamara Broome, who met the teen a year ago in the game, told her roommate that her travel to the U.S. last week had been paid for by the teen’s parents so “they could sort it all out.” Broome’s parents say the whole thing was a set up.

Broome was arrested after stepping off an Amtrak train in South Carolina last Saturday. She faces more than two years in jail if found guilty.

To think, one more year and this would have just been a happy story.

See also here for mainstream news coverage.

Inevitably, the comments bring some LuLz:

“on a side note where are all these lonely 30 something women that keep trying to screw around with underage guys? Don’t they know you can just go to a bar or frat house and at the very least be some guys last resort.”

“I like the whole paying her flight to get her arrested. That’s a bit like buying a car for your kid’s stalker and then getting pissed that they *might* end up in the trunk.”

“Ah, the perils of nerd love.”

” At least it really was a chick.”

“curse you parents! that was his first and only chance in hooking up with a woman, now he’s doomed to do unimaginable things to the night elf dancing animation >.> again.”

” But were they Alliance or Horde?”

Remember to devote time to your friends outside of Azeroth, especially the one you sleep with

Soley asks over in a Livejournal post (locked, but can be seen with a membership in the community):

Let’s say you pissed off your girlfriend enough that she went and deleted your main. Once you get the toon restored you realize that you’re armorless, weaponless & goldless. What, in your experience would be the best way to go about earning some quick money/gear?

Just curious because it just happened to me.
Whoops!

100 plus comments later, some sage advice emerges:

“What a whore. I don’t care how mad my boyfriend and I get at each other, we know full well you don’t fuck with each others toons.”

“Dude, if she’s sadistic enough to do that to you, dump her ass.”

“I don’t know what to suggest that doesn’t involve duct tape and a taser.”

“Type /girlfriendquit

If this is how she is now, forget long-term.”

“It’s
just
a
fucking
non-existant
data.

In the form of 0s and 1s.

If that is more important than a relationship, I don’t know what to say.”

And then it gets blown up onto the general forums (now deleted), and the livejournal “stupid free” community for 400+ comments. WoW, truly, is srs bizness.

“stupid free” choice quotes:

“Sweet gods of fuckery, the number of people calling “dump the whore” there are frightening.

Makes me glad me and the Beloved Hubby know when to step back from the WoW and actually talk…”

“The number of people who are like “WHAT A SKANKY MEAN BITCH, YOU DON’T DO THAT SHIT TO SOMEONE” and then in the same breath are like, “YOU SHOULD POST HER NUDES OR SOMETHING” make me wonder if some people EVER get away from their computers.”

“What a bunch of socially inept retards. It’s nice WoW is more important than tappin’ that ass. My boyfriend is completely obsessed with Socom but he knows having a real life and getting pussy is more important than a fucking video game.”

Tidbits: Server is warned of ninja, guild wants azn, and another kid crying

seejay shares with us the following bit of drama:

Calculator from the guild Progeny on server Drenden ninjad the T4 chest off Magtheridon. He then promptly transferred servers to Dalaran, became Panzor and joined the well-known guild Gaia.The guild leader from Progeny pops over to Dalaran to warn Gaia, as Panzor is currently raiding in Gruul’s with the guild.

He also posts to the Dalaran forums, warning the server about the existence of the ninja.

Responses range from:

• Progeny are idiots for running with free-for-all loot on!
• We were in the middle of a raid, why are you bugging us to warn us about a ninja in our guild??
• Progeny is a bunch of idiots, so who cares if someone ninja’d from them?
• Leave your drama Drenden out of Dalaran!
• We knew he was going to ninja the item and we encouraged it!
• We’re not kicking him from our guild, we know him in real life.
• Don’t punish all members of Gaia for what one jerk did!
• Gaia’s full of ninja’s and jerks anyway, let them keep him.
• It’s just one item / bunch of pixels / a video game, get over it!
• Various expletives

Overall, people seem to miss the point of “HAY! NINJA! WARNING WILL ROBINSON!” even when Panzor shows up and admits to the theft.

Also, Dinuan shares this recruitment thread from Retribution, an Alliance guild from Mal’Ganis. They’re looking for a hot asian chick.

you must think you are a feline creature in real life and make sure everyone else is aware that you are one as well. (often engage in conversations using words like meow and rawr and just go *scratch scratch kitty is here* on people rather than saying “hello”.

Finally, in the ‘the more things change, the more they stay the same’ department, Sterno shares this excellent YTMND of a kid crying over having to go to bed just as he gets an instance group together. Kids crying over games always seems to be popular. There’s some great quotes once the parents get involved about the kid just damaging himself.

This week in WoW forums: Blue 2, truth economists 0

You want the truth? I can’t tell you the truth, 1:

Jholland of Mal’Ganis is mystified as to why his gold has been taken away:

Let’s start this out by getting the facts on the table.

- I had ~950 gold 4 days ago, as well as last night. ALL of which I got from quests, grinding, and all of that other stuff that you do while leveling
- I was suspended for 3 days for “Intended Exploitation of the Economy” which was never clarified as to what I did that got me suspended, as it happened when I was offline.
- Over last night, my 950 gold has disappeared.
- I talked to an in-game GM about what happened and was told that it was seized for the “Intended Exploitation”

Now, what I assume is what was considered “Intended exploitation of the economy” was just me sending gold back and forth to my alt, Holand, a character of mine in Orgrimmar who I keep there. I sent him the gold because I was looking at the auction house to see if there was anything I wanted. If not, I’d just go back to leveling.

I got the suspension and thought that maybe it was justifiable, I’ll let it slide, I could use a few day break anyways. But now that they took my money as well it’s kind of getting to the point I can’t ignore it.

If a Blue could help me out, it would be greatly appreciated.

Blue (in the form of Batta) helps him out, alright:

This gold was not seized by Blizzard Entertainment, Jholland. We found that some people decided to level your characters while logging in from a foreign land. It appears they also decided the gold you had was useful to them.

I strongly suggest not giving your account information out to a third party again, Jholland, particularly after already having received a hefty account penalty for this infraction.

Surely you can get to 70 on your own… if you haven’t already.

The half-truth, the lies, and nothing but the not-quite-accurates, 2:

Amulet of Misha makes what seems to be a valid, if over-angry complaint about losing a tradeskill being lost upon moving servers.

GG bliztard, transfer servers lost all my profession including 375 tailoring with epic patterns, and 375 mining… Put tickets into GM’s and they said “they couldn’t do anything”.. I could of cared less about mining but 375 tailoring with epic patterens was hard to get. I had to relevel tailoring to at least 350 in order for my spellfire set to be usable.. Even tho I told the GM how can I have compelete spellfire, If I didnt have 375 tailoring… I got a Idea for you instead of saying on your website, “What GM’s can help with” why not just say we are limited to only transporting your charcter when you fall through the world, and if someone calls you a bad named. Dont put “Missing Profession” cause you guys dont help… and to think I pay you guys to play a game and you don’t do @!#* to help

After a reply expressing sympathy, Blue (Kaone) strikes again!

Hello Amulet,

I believe you may now be misrepresenting this issue as our fault. Looking at your petition history I notice that you made a ticket to a Game Master shortly after your transfer to the realm of Misha.

‘I just unlearned the wrong skill, i meant to unlearn mining not tailoring, please plase let me have it back i worked so hard on my spellfire set’

I understand that making such a mistake can be distressing and I wish you the best with re-leveling it up to 375.

Many choice funnies follow, in both threads. And in today’s lesson we learn: Blue are like Santa. They see you when you’re sleeping, they know when you’re awake, they know if you’ve been hiring power-levelling services or hitting the wrong ‘unlearn’ button, so tell the damn truth already.

The winners

Congratulations to our winners, epilogue and Chapsticky! Kingfox will email you soon with details of your prizes.

The winning posts were: Kids crying over loot

and Guild drama.

As a side issue, we’ve got plenty to drama to come, thanks to the people sending it in, I’ve just been too lazy to format it. Stay tuned!

Drama Contest voting

Because Kingfox is lazy, evil and wishes me ill, I have taken it upon myself to collate votes for the drama contest we had a while back, so as to distribute these gamecards burning a hole in our pockets:

The three posts we received are:

1. Raid leader ninjas guild.

2. Kids crying over loot.

3. Guild drama.

Please send an email with either 1, 2 or 3 in the header of the email to baxdrama@gmail.com to vote for your favorite.

EDIT: Voting finishes midnight EST, Friday May 18, or whenever I decide to cut you off, whichever comes first.

Nihilum worse than robots; they are Europeans!

So, someone asks a mostly innocuous question about that gatherer of many world firsts, Nihilum:

“Are Nihilum Human?

Discuss.

The best Naxx guilds on my server can’t even get attuned to SSC or TK and these guys have down Vashj ages ago and are upto Kael.

Skillz or hax?”

-Crysil

Leena offers a suggestion:

“nihilium is actually composed of a robots.

they build cars during their day job”

Merda takes this suggestion and runs way, way too far with it:

Well they not robots, they are Europeans. So considering most European countries have a lot of entitlements people can get away with playing WoW for 18 hours a day and don’t have to worry about putting food on there table or a roof over there head.

While us hard working Americans have to work to make our way in life, and carry the rest of the world problems on our shoulders. But I guess that is a discussion for another forum.”

The almost inevitable comments ensue, and it turns out that it is, in fact, not a discussion for any forum other than this one:

“Yes go get killed to another country so europeans can play more wow, it all makes sense now!”

“brainwash much?”

Merda continues unabated:

“Look at more modern events, like the Bosnia conflict. The European nations could not even take care of a problem in there own back yard. We had to come in and take the lead and carry the burden of the load.

And this is the trend that continues, there are things in this world that seek to force there will upon us. And while the EU seeks to shrink military budgets by leaps and bonds every year and increase the entailments to there people. But when things to go wrong in the world they turn to the USA to spill our blood and spend our money to fix the problem.

And if people think that we can just talk to people to solve all the problems this will come up in the future, they are living in a dream world.

A lot of the European countries would love to have a economy like ours, but they are not will to pay the price to get it, and part of that price is to fight to protect our interests.

Believe me if you where to wake up tomorrow and the USA where gone the world would be a lot darker place.”

The rest of the thread devolves into an Iraq War/Global politics slanging match just how we like it, and is summed up nicely by Apathy:

“Things to take from this thread:

1. Nihilum is on the USAID payroll. This explains without a shadow of a doubt why they dominate the World of Warcraft raiding scene.

2. Radical Islam is knocking on Nihilums door to convert them and possibly kill them.

3. Nihilum’s rise to domination of the raid scene began with the entitlement programs set in place by notable historical figures such as Churchill. It is largely rumored he plays a NE hunter in Method.

4. Merda is a retard.

Peace,
Apathy”

The europeans are also very pleased at the attention they’re getting:

“Oh, great. Someone actually knows Europe isn’t a country. He says that the world would want an economy like theirs, I just look at their educational system. I seriously got asked the question, in America, by an American, who was speaking English, if, get this, I spoke English… I will hold back my cynicism about America when more than 50% of their population can point out Holland on an atlas.”

“Lol priceless indeed. America’s excuse for not dominating the World of Warcraft is they have to dominate the real world. For all our best interests of course.

I feel sorry for all the smart/educated Americans who are being humiliated by their stereotype countrymen once again!

The really sad thing is of course that they feel that performance in a computer game is a matter of national pride. We should invite them to participate in the Eurovision song festival, see how they cope with the humiliations involved in that! ”

A story of life, love, and WoW

Kerensky, a human mage from Archimonde, meets a woman through WoW. A real life female, for reals.

Summary:
Some might call me a fool, some might call me a sucker. I may be a hopeless romantic looking for love in all the wrong places, some may say I no idea what that word really means. What I do know is I did something, I took a risk and grabbed it by the horns.

What follows is a long story of how things don’t quite work out for him the way he hoped for. In case it gets deleted, the full text will be reproduced at the end of this article. Entertaining moments include his measurement of time (how long he’s known the woman, length of their trip together) completely within WoW terms. Just as entertaining, if not more so, is the outpouring of support, mockery, and advice from the WoW community’s cadre of elite relationship experts.

“hopeless romantic” …??? i hope this experience has taught you to start acting like a man!!! unless you are a girl, then this story was HOT”

“dude, you got used. end of story.

don’t be bitter about it though, it’s just in their nature. just please don’t get suckered again by another sob story.”

The original saga:

0. A story of life, love, and WoW | 05/10/2007 03:17:10 PM EDT

They say that all truth is good but all truth is not good to say. I’m still sharing it for anyone who wants to read it though, because I don’t want to bury it or ever forget it.

Summary:
Some might call me a fool, some might call me a sucker. I may be a hopeless romantic looking for love in all the wrong places, some may say I no idea what that word really means.
What I do know is I did something, I took a risk and grabbed it by the horns.

The following is a true story, the names of the people involved have been left out to protect their identities.

I’d like to think I’m a good mage, I’ve been around off and on since release. I’d like to think I’m a helpful person, I’m exalted in almost every BC faction because I re-run instances that I don’t need to for people who needs items/rep/badges. I don’t spend time with my family, I work full time for the Judicial Branch of the US government, don’t have any RL friends anymore, and spend most if not all of my free time on WoW.

One day… before BC even came out, about seven months ago, I met this paladin running Stratholme. Back before BC I ran that place so much, I collected a full stack (250) corruptor scourge stones… just to collect them. I can provide an SS of this or show anyone my stack in game if you so desire. This one run is special though, because I get invited onto vent. Low and behold, this pally is a girl. So after the run we kinda hung out.

We talk about stuff, get to know each other. I run things with her, help her alt out. She runs stuff with me, helps my alt out. Had a lot of fun doing those tier .5 quests right before BC hit, heh. Eventually I find out that she is moving to another country… Oh well, it was fun while it lasted, I said to myself.

However when she gets there, she ends up spending even MORE time online and on WoW, because things did not work out the way she had hoped after moving. Things being school, work, and the guy she met. So we continued to spend time in WoW and doing stuff in BC. She actually rerolled a mage so we could AOE together because she was so impressed at how I was able to AOE the heck out of everything.

So one day in early April she messages me says she wants to talk. Apparently things over there were falling to pieces, and now she wants to leave that country and go home. Trouble is, she drove all the way there and now has to drive all the way back. She didn’t want to do it alone and she was in a major financial crunch because she wasn’t working for all those months in that country. So what happens? She invites me to go on this road trip with her! Things were said, e-mails were sent, we exchanged pictures and phone numbers. I got a passport and a plane ticket and took a week off from work and I was gone, this was an opportunity of a lifetime!

Note: I did not go on this trip with the intention of doing you know what. I made this clear to her, and it was clear in my mind. I did however, expect to be intimate with her because of all the time we’d spent online over the past several months and because of the things we had said while organizing this trip.

There’s a quote from that Nicolas Cage movie Lord of War I’d like to share with you now. It goes something like: “The problem with meeting the girl of your dreams is that they become real.”

I hadn’t seen her picture until a week before I got on my flight. I never wanted to see her picture before that because I knew if I didn’t like what I saw, I wouldn’t be as nice to her as I was being. If I did like what I saw, I would have treated her differently as well. I was happy to just hang out with her online and have fun, she invited me on this trip.

When I landed… I found that she fit her picture almost perfectly… just her hair was a little longer. And God, she was beautiful. Lean brunette with a nice figure and even prettier face. So far everything was still too good to be true.

The trip itself, however, was a completely different story.

I offered to take our time, to stop in cities along the way, to go sightseeing, have fun doing all kinds of stuff, anything we could find. She wouldn’t have anything of it though. She insisted on driving for 12+ hours a day, stopping to sleep, eat, or for gas and nothing else. Driving from 7 AM to 11 PM every day. I paid for gas with my credit card cause she didn’t have one, and I paid for lodging at the motels we stayed at. I tried talking to her, and we did have some interesting conversations, but I could not convince her for the life of me to stop so we could do something! All we did was drive and drive… Eventually I was getting quite flustered, and started saying some stupid things in an attempt to understand why and what was happening, but that only seemed to make it worse. I could do nothing because she wanted to do nothing.

I left SFO Thursday night, landed in Montreal Friday morning, we reached our destination in Washington State by Tuesday afternoon. I went across the continental US by air and then back again by car in less time then it takes for $^&#ing Molten Core to reset.

I took a 6AM flight out from Seattle Wednesday morning, and was back home in San Francisco by noon.

Wtf? What happened? I couldn’t understand it. 7 months we get to know each other online, and when we meet she tells me that amounts to nothing? That she didn’t want to do anything? Just beeline straight home to Washington state?

I felt like I was coming apart, like I was out of phase with reality. What had I done so wrong? I exercise by going running five times a week, so I’m not a stereotypical overweight gamer. I’m not a bum, I have a decent job that I enjoy. What’s wrong with me?

I’d taken the whole week off for this trip, and being back so soon with nothing to do, I go online later that night, and she’s there too. Wtf? We blitzed all that way just to get right back onto WoW? We ended the trip on a better note that once we understood she was just looking for a friend, I guess I was aiming for something more. Of course though the time we spent on WoW was different, and definitely for the worse. We stopped running heroics together, and she stopped answering my e-mails…. So obviously something was still amiss.

So a week or so passed by and I get a random message from someone in her old guild while she was in Canada… “So was she a good %$#%? (rhymes with yuck)”

What the hell? Who the hell is this? Why are they asking me this? I blow them off and ask her, why is he messaging me. She says because he thinks I slept with her on the trip, and he won’t believe her when she says she didn’t, so now he bugs me. Rofl.

He bugs me again the next day and asks the same thing. Wtf? Now I’m not gonna blow him off, I want to know why he is even asking me this.

Turns out her mad blitz to rush home and not doing anything with me or anything I did wrong or right. It was because she was pregnant…. Not with the guy she moved out there to be with, but by this guy! The pieces of the puzzle finally fit in. She couldn’t see a doctor out there, so it was a crazed rush to get home. It finally made sense… He made it clear to me when I grilled him for information, and when I confronted her, all I got was confirmation.

When the trip ended, I was angry. I felt I was used for my money, everything that happened pointed in that direction. I tried to push it out of my mind, to forget it entirely. Just drown out the feelings playing WoW and let time heal the wound.

Now, after finding this out though, I don’t feel angry, or hurt, or even taken advantage of. She needed help, and there was literally no one else in the world who was available or willing to do what I did. Fly all the way out there, keep her company on the trip, keep her safe in case something happened, made sure there was enough money for gas and food and lodging. That was my role, and that’s what I did. That she neglected to tell me all of this at the time is immaterial now. It hurt me that she didn’t tell me this before we started, but I understand why she did what she did. It was never about me or her or us. It was about the baby. She trusted me enough to take me along on the trip, but not enough to reveal her true reasons until well after it was over because of what was really at stake.

Some might call me a fool, some might call me a sucker. I may be a hopeless romantic looking for love in all the wrong places, I may have no idea what that word really means.

What I do know is I did something, I took that opportunity and grabbed it by the horns. I am not ashamed that it ended in failure. I take pride in the fact I tried instead of letting it just pass me by and always wondering ‘what if’ afterwards.

There was an opportunity to meet someone special to me, I took it. I flew on an airplane alone to an unknown destination for the first time in my life with only a cell phone number to reach her when I landed. I took a foolhardy risk for a chance at finding love in the most unlikely of places. But I really did it, I took that risk and even if it ended in failure for me, it really happened. I do not want to hide from my past or what I’ve done or what happened, I want to celebrate and share the experience. Live and learn, and that’s what I intend to do. I do wish the best for her though, with all that moving and instability and now a baby on the way… I understand why she did what she did. I hold no resentment or ill feelings towards her, I only wish her the best in what is going to probably be incredibly trying times ahead for her.

For anyone who managed to read this entire story, I tip my hat to you. It’s long and windy, but I wanted to share my RL/WoW experience, so thank you for reading it. If you have questions or comments, feel free to post here or contact me in game.

- Kerensky

P.S. I do take some comfort in the fact that my tax refund paid for most of the trip, anyway.

Volition is not a good guild

Thanks to an anonymous contributor:

Members of Volition, a guild on Bleeding Hollow (that transferred from The Forgotten Coast) got some nifty karma after constantly claiming they would be the #1 guild on the server and that everyone else would be in awe of them….

This thread that was here (sadly deleted) set it up:

Well ladies and gentelmen, last night, Volition members Johnnluc and Doanald (AKA THEDONNY, Track # 7, Paper trail records) found themselves with their pants down, literally. for some time, i pretended to be a girl amongst the Volition ranks as a 70 mage. in the process of my joining the guild, Doanald revealed secrets that should never even be spoken over the internet, and Johnnluc was recorded/ screenshotted saying he wishes to get me intoxicated to do sexual acts to me, and MUCH MUCH MORE from both members of volition. while the footage and recordings are being put together since there is over 150 SS and an hour of vent recordings, i thought i would go ahead and let everyone in on why alliance trade/nagrand general was spammed, and IRC invaded. while i did alot of the work, many other people were involved in the process, you will all be thanked in the big post with all the footage. The main post should be ready in a few days, i hope you enjoy it.

-Buddylee

A follow-up post was quickly put up after the YTMNDs were discovered, sadly, that was also deleted. Luckily for us, it was then replaced with this one:

So for those who dont know, i pretended to be a girl in the guild “volition”. i recieved an epic my first day in the guild in kara, got a free 2v2 team paid for by the well known, Doanald, and he also gave me consumables for raids. Johnluc, who didnt even seem like that bad of a guy, just got horney and talked to the wrong character at the wrong time. Johnluc told me he was good with his tongue and wanted to have repeated sexual acts with me over ventrilo and ingame chat. John found out while he was cyberingwith me that i was a girl when i yelled, “can i bust my $%$ in your eye!” It sucks i had to rush this post out, but it worked out all the same. Thanks go out to Smogen, for hooking me up in the first place. also i would like to thank Bodynok, Spuure, Teez, stylux, Lotho, Xaen, and all the guys who knew and were in on it. i hope you enjoy this and thanks most of all to Doanald (AKA paper trail/fail records, track #7, thedonny) and Johnnluc for making all this possible.

-Buddylee

The YTMNDs:

http://paperfail.ytmnd.com/

Written quotes: “BuT i have worked and co-produced for snoopdog and franchise boys last cd”

Voice quotes: “I’ll give you my address and you can fuck my gun.”

“Why are you so pussy?”

Bravado much, methinks?

http://johnluc.ytmnd.com/

Written quote: “i guess i’d have to find out get you drunk so you’d let me cum in your mouth too”

Voice quote: “Come on really, can we just grow up?”

We eagerly await the full compliment of screenshots.

While we were gone: The Bad: Mexican WoW player gets beaten up

A news story emerges:

Mexico City, Mexico-(MH)-Mexican World of Warcraft player Bronco Carson reported to local police on Saturday that 3 men broke into his home and beat his arms with clubs and smashed his computer. It was supposedly in retaliation for Carson stalking and repeatedly killing one of the attackers wife’s character during computer video game play.

Carson admitted to police that he had been “making it hard for her to get far in the game.” He said that after repeated online threats from the woman, she sent her husband and friends over to his house to “take care of him.” Carson later said that he had made the mistake of telling her where he lived and “if her husband was man enough to just come meet me to settle this.”

In the usual way, the keyboard warriors emerge:

“That f*ck deserved every beating he got. Stalking, provocation, insults etc. had he been doing that IRL he had a bullet in his head.

Don’t start something you can’t finish!”

Btw, the ones who doesn’t like the IRL violence part - note that that wanker actually asked to get f*cked up, left out his address and all.”

-Kaneida

But this begs the question: When is drama not really drama?

And the answer? When it’s completely fabricated.

The story caused a stir initially, until WoW Insider flags it as being likely to be fake, and some deductive logic is used. We must all be vigilant in our quest for the LOLz! That being said, I vote for Griftah to be renamed “Bronco Carson.”

While we were gone: The Good, pt. 1: More Elitemaiden

We may have been sitting idle, posting-wise, but we’re always on the lookout for LOLz. Our resident artist has drawn us some emo characters to pretty up the mainpage. Both the emo undead and emo Night Elf show that WoW, truly, is serious business.

On with the show. Drama, like rust, never sleeps.

Just like a Spaghetti Western, there’s the good, bad and ugly of WoW drama.

We’re gonna start with the Good: Elitemaiden, whom we’ve chronicled here before, creates some meta-drama in the comments of our post about her.

“So why are you guys swallowing all this cow dung anyways?

Who is crazy? Is it not this person who’s real life is DESTROYED by wow or an epic mage who you all troll because your lives have no meaning?”

-Elitemaiden exclusively.

There’s all sorts of other gems in them thar comments, too - two levels of meta-drama, those directly involving Elitemaiden, and those not:

For whit, level 1:

“Hey meta

You are nothing but a gutless prick. Seriously what you have said goes beyond reproach.

ANd who the hell are you to decide what should go punished and unpunished. You seriously sicken me with this retoric of yours.

If you read this again, and I hope you do, I hope you think about what you have done. I hope you think about the criomes that you have commited.

You won you reckon? The only thing you won metazare is nothing more than having the distinction of being a blight on society”

-Arkell

“Arkell, blow off. How dare you acuse of bullying people on Hyjal. The only fault that was made was not realizing earlier that you couldn’t hack it with the rest of us. So how bout you get out from behind Elitemaidens piss flaps and be a man by droppin this peddly crap about Meta and how you hate him so much. Grow a sack, fill it with some balls, and move on. I had no issues with you, but when you attack Krieg and everyone in it, well then I take offense to that. P.O.P.”

-Loring

And level 2:

“That’s really kind of funny considering you ruined Atala’s life flirting with him every day. I think when he found out you were in fact a married adulteress, he finally quit wow.”

-The EM herself, to Desideria

But the best was yet to come…

While we were gone: The Good, pt. 2: Elitemaiden makes Fark

Of course, EM drama couldn’t possibly be contained in the mere confines of the comments of one of our posts. No, she went and claimed she was being oppressed, by both players and GMs, and threatened to sue Blizzard. While the original forum thread has been deleted, we have a text copy here.

Some highlights:

“I would like to bring to your attention the horrendous crime one of your employees have committed against Elitemaiden, a faithful World of Warcraft player (who played the game since the game began), causing her to quit the game in UNDUE time. (Especially when I am already in a GREAT guild full of GREAT people). Now that guild is forced into having no mage and may possibly not do as well as intended. I did not waste MY TIME trolling ANYONE. I have already been revered and heroic keyed for many instances.

Forum Moderater Corelei is responsible for encouraging the vicious slandering of my good name in the game on the forums both in Hyjal and in Drenden. He is the very reason why people feel empowered to troll me.”

“Many jealous people came out of the woodworks to troll that thread. After that first initial trolling post, Blizzard did NOTHING to stop the trolling. It seemed as though every person who FAILED in the game tried to pin their ownfailure upon my head even though I did not know them, did not ever play with them nor interacted with them. They were jealous and envious of my noble and fun gaming including romances and the Grand Marshal Barbarconan forever kneeling at my feet every single day at Ironforge…”

“Hyjal I found to be a server that was OPPRESSED by the big guilds. It was shocking to me that people were so undergeared. The rich were filthy rich and the poor were in RAGS. Nobody cared about helping with anything. Most of them had not even seen MC yet. And it was already NAXX era.”

“DO YOU SEE A TROLLING TREND HERE?

The trolls were spreading LIES. Literally making up LIES out of thin air. And nobody was there to keep them from LYING and continuing to cuase trouble for me.”

“Finally GM Corelei showed up again…after already missing many deleted posts, he again PUTS my name in lights, and asserts in big bold letters falsely framing ME. Where was he when the trolls started the threads? What right does he have to assert blame when he did NOTHING to protect me? When I was the one reported these people and ASKED for help thousands upon thousands of times, I was ignored and pushed aside?

HOW DARE HE now come and assert such slanderious LIES about me to the general public when he has failed in your efforts to keep a clean and safe environment. When he disrespects the VICTIM and turns the VICTIM into a false accused.

HIDING all the thousands of archived slanders and vicious attempts to create drama for Elitemaiden.

THIS IS THE TRUTH. GOD KNOWS IT. HE KNOWS IT.”

“I demand a retraction of the unfair and unjust BAN upon my account even if it is AFTER I had already quit the game (me quitting being CAUSED by the unjust SLANDER and TROLLING of Forum Moderator Corelei).

My mage is of no small measure of time invested.

She is highly skilled as you can see on her ARMORY and cause for others to be jealous because they are TOO lazy to fish, level up tailoring, cooking, first aid, etc.”

“I would also like to note that they came from ALL other realms to TROLL me in Drenden as of the latest incident where Corelei has FAILED to note this fact. THEY are the ones who are causing strife within the community and he is empowering them to do so. Therefore it is CLEAR to me that he has targed me for trolling and targeted me for victimizing and he has sabatoged my account and my access to the forums to not only report the trolls but to defend my rights as a paying customer.

I DEMAND his superiors look into this immediately. I demand that the legal department investigate the archives of the forums.

There is nothing there but SLANDER and LIES and VICIOUS GOSSIP.

You need to look at the GROSSLY FAILED purpose of your public forums and archives. They are nothing to be proud of.”

Of course, while this is all LOLworthy, it takes something truly great to elevate a “threatening to quit” post, amongst all the others. In amongst these humdingers, there was one to top them them all:

“They would send all of their friends to do fire spells and throw snowballs at me. It was like a seen right out of the holocaust with the NAZI’s of HYJAL trying to torture me, a poor JEW.”

Hyjal=Auschwitz? That comment got her elevated to a big stage - Fark.

Some choice comments from the thread:

“Elitemaiden, plz feel free to CRY ME A F**KING RIVER.

Honestly, she sounds like one of those “gang stalking” whackjobs, only her whining and biatching made her delusions come to life.”

-dirkus_maximus

“All that said, Elitemaiden is a farking headcase who seriously needs a clue, a life, and very probably medication. She reminds me of the kids in school who cried every time someone called them names. Some people just can’t resist the temptation to push their buttons and watch the fireworks (or waterworks). In as much of that frothing diatribe as I was able to force myself to read, I saw paranoia, megalomania, a whole persecution complex, and some disturbing parallels to the VT gunman’s rants about how the world was against him. WoW didn’t cause her problems, but it’s sure giving her one hell of a stage to display them on.

Lady, if you happen to be reading this, get help. There are a lot worse things in the world than video game characters tossing imaginary snowballs at you, and you’re on a collision course with a bunch of them.”

-Worldwalker

Even after being Farked, EM can’t leave well enough alone, so she tries to defend her actions, in a number of posts (the text from a few is in the Fark comments), such as this one:

The thread responses, in addition to the usual calls to rationality that EM never seems to heed, include a series of EM-themed motivational posters, like this one here:

The final word, however, goes to the esteemed CM, Coriel.

“You know, if you’d stop going out of your way to seek attention, Elitemaiden, I’m willing to bet you’d see a marked decrease in the amount of the “harassment” you endure.

Knock it off. Stop trolling, stop picking fights. If I catch you instigating problems again, you’re gone.”

HAI2U

Hello to all of our new readers. May I point you towards the RSS feed we have down near the bottom of the page there, for all your syndication needs. We haven’t updated in a while as time seems to have gotten away from us, but now you’re a large, whiny, demanding force, just how we like it, and we want to deliver.

We promised a while back to reward the top 2 in our drama competition, and we neglected to put a vote up at the time. Kingfox will be putting one up shortly, and we’ll be awarding the top 2 entries with 60-day gamecards.

Drama Contest - Guild Drama

Thanks to Epilogue for highlighting this sterling bit of vein-popping anger.

The post has been taken down now, but it was originally on http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=75494119

3 posts containing this have all been taken down:

I am so sick of hearing about “omg I can’t find a group” in every thread I read…

YOU GUYS WHAT THE @##*.

WAKE UP! You’re in one of the top giulds on this server! AND you’re all thinking inside the box about the whole @##*ing thing.

I GET ASKED BY ILTERENDI (I.E. #1 GUILD ON THIS SERVER TO DO END GAME CONTENT) ALLLLLLL THE @##*ING TIME FOR GROUPS. OMG NO ONE IN THEIR GUILD CRIES ABOUT NOT FINDING GROUPS THOUGH BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY SACRIFICE A LARGER GUILD FOR TIGHTER END GAME CONTENT AND SOMETIMES THAT MEANS FINDING GROUPS…

OMG OUTSIDE THE GUILD OMGOMGOGMOGGMOGOM

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAAAAAN!?!?@?!@?!@?

IT means I know HOW TO PLAY and I DO IT WELL AND SO DO YOU. AND ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GUILDS APPARENTLY YOU CAN’T FIND GROUPS IN.

OMG /WRISTS

YOU MEAN IN A TEAM GAME AYALIN THAT OMG PEOPEL MIGHT JUST OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG NOT BE ABLE TO FIND GROUPS OCCAISIONALLY? EVEN

TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW?!!?! OMG!? NO GROUPS FOR TWO NIGHTS OMG! LIFE IS OVER!

BE LUCKY YOU GET TO GO FARM AND FISH AND MAKE MONEY FOR YOUR MOUNT THEN! WTF?? NO ONE IS GOIGN TO THINK YOU’RE UBER IF YOU’RE NOT TRYIGN TO COMPLETE QUESTS, GET GEARED, AND STRUT YOUR *!%#.

I’M A COCKY **%@%, I KNOW HOW TO PLAY MAGE, AND I’LL TELL ANYONE I’M THE *!%# AT IT EVEN IF I’M NOT BECAUSE HEY OBVIOUSLY IT’S WORKED SINCE LEVEL 30 FOR ME TO GET GROUPS.

OMGOMGOGMGOGMOGMOGM GROUPS

STFU AND RAID! PLAY MORE, YOU CAN GROUP ALL DAY, THEN SOLO GRIND YOUR MOTES, GO FISH, GO GET EPIX, GO QUEST, GO MAKE MONEY FOR THE REPAIRS FOR OUR REAL 25MAN RAIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO HELP SOMEONE ELSE FOR A CHANGE!

I FOUND ALL MY GROUPS BECAUSE I WAS HELPING NO ONE EVER HELPED ME. YOU CAN GET YOUR *!%# DONE BY HELPING OTHERS, WAKE UP! SOME CRYING ABOUT IT AND GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

WHY DO I LOG AND GET 20 TELLS ABOUT DOING GROUPS?

PEOPLE DON’T EVEN LIKE ME, I SIMPLY KNOW HOW TO PLAY AND I HELPED SOMEONE OUT ONCE OR TWICE. THAT’S IT. OK? I TOLD YOU ALL THE KEY TO SUCCESS.

I see so many of you crying in these posts who never help a @##*ing SOUL. So go help everyone else, then TRUST ME WTF it WILL come back to you. JESUS PEOPLE. SERIOUSLY. BY COMPLAINING IT’S LIKE YOU’RE TELLING EVERYONE YOU’RE TOO SELFISH TO JUST GO HELP IN TEAMS, AND WAIT TO REAP WHAT YOU SOW… WHICH HAS BEEN MY GOD $%#@ED LIFE FOR TWO YEARS.. ARE WE ALL PLAYING THE SAME @##*ING GAME?

YOU’RE THE ADULT GUILD ON THE SERVER, STOP ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF WHINEY BABIES ABOUT FINDING GROUPS, IF YOU CAN’T FIND THEM, JOIN DARK DESTINY, I PROMISE THEY HAVE GROUPS 24/7 AND THEY GO TO KARAZHAN.

YOU CAN NOT EXPECT ME TO SIT HERE,SAINLY EVERY DAY WHILE YOU ALL CONSTANTLY CRY ABOUT THIS. IT’S JUST ..

OMFG STFU I CAN’T EVEN TAKE IT ANYMORE I WORK SO @##*ING HARD FOR YOU ALL THEN FOR NOTHING BUT CRYING IN POSTS! @##* I SHOULD JUST START GKICKING THE WHINERS, AND ONLY RECRUIT PEOPLE WHO CAN STFU AND PLAY. OR MAKE THIS THREAD FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO BE AGAINST CRYERS, AND WHINERS, AND WANT TO **%@% AT THEM UNTIL THEY BECOME - DO-ER’S -

GOD I COULD BE IN A GUILD LIKE DEATH AND TAXES WITH MY @##*ING EXPERIENCE AND DEDICATION AND OPEN SCHEDULE BUT INSTEAD NO, I WANT TO BE HERE WITH YOU @##*ERS, I LIKE YOU GUYS AND I WANT TO KEEP RAIDING WITH THE SAME GOD $%##ED PEOPLE ALWAYS. SO THE @##* WHAT IF I WANT TO KEEP PLAYING WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPEL WHO I THINK ARE @##*ING NICE AND COOL AND *!%#??

ALSO OMFG!!!!!!!!!!! I SEE YOU ALL IN GROUPS ALL THE TIME, THEN POSTING I GUESS IN YOUR FREE TIME WHERE YOU AREN’T IN GROUPS HUH? WTF. WE USED TO BE A TEAM OF NON-WHINEY BABIES, WHAT HAPPENED? YOU’RE AWESOME PLAYERS, IF YOU COULD JUST STOP THINKING ABOUT OMFG I’M ON KARAZHAN LIST 1, 2, 3, I DIDN’T FIND ANY GROUPS ZOMG.

AND PLAY THE GAME AND REALIZE THAT 25MANS ARE JUST AROUND THE CORNER, AND THIS TRANISTITIONAL TIME FOR THE LAST THREE MONTHS YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FREAK OUT ABOUT…….. OMG!

THE @##*.

SERIOUSLY

OH NOES, huntards everywhere!

This is a 2-part post. Firstly, thanks to James Lame: Dont group with Hunters, they are Imba!

This is a total win in drama.

It’s basicly that hunters are imba and the soulution is to never play with them or help them in anyway, becuse then Blizzard will nerf them for some magical reason.

Check it out:

http://forums.wow-europe.com/thread.html?topicId=114831912&sid=1

I have noticed many nerf-threads here and i agree with most of them. And i have solution: dont summon them if u are warlock, dont heal them if u are priest/druid, dont do water/food for them if u are mage. And harder part: DONT PLAY WITH THEM. If u are going to instance say that if hunter comes u leave. I have kicked one time and maybe 30 times they havent took hunter. U pay for this game (or ur mom/dad) do u wanna that some class is so uber-zomg-pwnage that it is clearly overpowered? and its pwzns ur class without problems? Atleast i dont want it. Try it, eventually they stop playing hunters or blizz will nerf them.

And on the flip side of the coin: Worst hunter ever?

@razzaelstop camping people in STV…first you kill the friend we were getting raptor hunter tunic for then you camp us for trying to get back at you!

locks need a nerf hardcore…no way a 34 lock should be able to kill a 64 so easily and camp me

Choice quotes: ” Are you disabled? Do you play WOW without the use of your hands? If you are a normal, healthy person then please consider the following:

/point

/lol”

“C’mon folks, let’s help a fellow hunter out. First, you should cast “Call Pet” or go tame a pet if you haven’t already done so. Next, put your pet on defensive or aggressive and now you should have almost doubled your DPS!

Tomorrow’s lesson: How to augment autoshot DPS using Arcane Shot.”

“DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT AND DEPOSIT ALL GOODS TO AN ORPHANAGE THEN SLOWLY DRINK BLEACH/LAUNDRY DETERGENT”

Going out with a ‘bang’…

We’ve all been stuck in dead-end instance groups at one point or another, and we’ve all given excuses on why we need to leave suddenly, though often we just switch to an alt for a while to escape.

But in this case, I think this guy was serious… the group was apparently proceeding smoothly through the Steamvaults, working well together, etc.

Our thoughts are with ya bud!

Drama Contest - Kids Crying Over Loot

Thanks to Chapsticky for the second post in our drama contest.

Once upon a time on a server called Crushridge, there was an Onyxia raid. In this raid, the horde guild Synergy took down Onyxia. Two things dropped: a Stormrage Cover and a Helmet of Ten Storms.

Now, in this guild, when people did not have good raiding attendance, they were demoted to initiate where they were not allowed to bid on any items. The Stormrage Cover was given to a druid with the most dkp and the Helmet of Ten Storms given to a shaman who did not have the most dkp, but was a member and not an initiate. The one shaman who had the most dkp in the raid was a 12 year old Australian kid. He was demoted down to an initiate because his attendance wasn’t so great due to school.

After the loot was distributed I heard a faint sound coming from the Australian kid’s mic. That is when I started to record vent. What happened next was the funniest thing I have ever heard.

I… have… to… go… do… homework…

Drama Contest - Balnazzar drama: Raid leader “ninjas guild”

Thanks to Zank, we (proudly?) present the first post in our drama contest. Stay tuned for these on a daily basis, with voting information to go up after the last post.

Though guilds come and go, and usually the latter leaves a wake of drama and sleepless nights for its members, the break up of Tough Customers in September was an especially dramatic one, as raid leader Jadarr “ninjaed” the guild from the married guild co-leaders Milker and Lorry.

The guild, in the shining moment of its first MC clear, was suddenly and abruptly stolen. The night after their first Ragnaros kill Jadarr left the guild on grounds that the leaders did nothing to help the guild, handled everything poorly, etc. Trouble was, he took the core of the guild raiders with him.

Like most drama handled in the guild, it was all private, never really leaking onto the server forums, with the drama contained entirely in guild forums. Though all of the original posts are gone, and the vent conversations unrecorded, the after thoughts of the forum going members can be found at: http://www.redemption.guilds-portal.com/forums/

This isn’t the first time Tough Customers has had humorous noteworthy drama, in fact the first was probably the luci ninja which ended up on google video at:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4759780313565426066&q=tough customers luci&hl=en

Some choice quotes: “If u fuckers believed that we wouldnt go anywhere then why the fuck did u toy with us all that fuckin time.“

“Lol my dear, the day jadarr left he posted some bullshit post under bitching explaining why he left

Under that post he said suuf about real life, that he wasnt gonna be on much and that he might even quit. If im wrong then correct me. If not then i would call that the biggext lie. Somehow he has time for MC, ZG, and ONY still”

We’re still here, promise

Sorry, the WoW drama team has been busy levelling to 70 and getting keyed up. We’re still here, with more drama to come soon. Keep sending in your entries for the drama competition!

ZOMG Scamz!

In the “I can’t believe they even have the intelligence to turn a computer on” file, apparently some people are in disbelief that white items sold by a vendor named “Griftah” might not actually work.

Quote: “So I purchased the item and proceed to configure Itemrack to equip it anytime I eat or drink conjured food in hopes to regen my HP/Mana quicker. Well guess what, it doesn’t work!! I tested my mana regen rate BEFORE and AFTER equipping it and both times I remained at 346 mana every 2 sec.

*deep sigh* I guess I’m a fool for falling for this scam, but I’m really surprised and disappointed that Blizzard actually has NPCs in the game selling things that don’t work - especially when it costs 25g! Now I’m off to test the “Compassion Critter’s Friend” with my riding gear, although I highly doubt it will work either which puts me out another 20g.”

January/February Drama Contest

Obviously, we can’t be on every server watching the drama that goes down. We’ve got to hit level 70, and help our fish head shammy or BE pally guildies get up there to raid with us! So we depend on you, the readers, to sometimes find the good dirt for us. So to reward you for your great stories, this month we’re going to give the authors of the top two submitted bits of drama 60 day prepaid cards. That’s right, you show us how scary the World of Warcraft can be, and we’ll feed your addiction. We know that’s like having a track mark contest and giving the winner free heroin. Show us your best RP server melodrama, your best PVP server griefing bitchfest, whatever you’ve got.

Just use the handy submission form to your right, send any screenshots or additional files to wowdrama@gmail.com, and we’ll take a look. We don’t care if it’s drama you’ve started, just make you submit it to us yourself before someone else does. We’ll throw up a public vote for drama submitted between now and February 18^th, and voting will close on February 25^th. The winners can have the card mailed to them or just the code emailed to them, their choice. Good luck!

i guess im a bit shy when it comes to being in groups with people i don’t even know

Found over at AFK Gamer (the greatest WoW blog out there, and a must read for any raider.) Socks from Jaedenar posts, begging for help under the subject, “im a girl and im new to WoW.” Only, they do it from their male 60 pally by mistake, complete with pally sig and ctprofile link.

my character is lvl 22 right now..human rogue and im in re-ridge. i did all the easier solo quests and all i have left in re-ridge are the harder group quests. i guess im a bit shy when it comes to being in groups with people i dont even know so should i continue to complete those quests? or should i go to darkshirt and start doing solo quests there?

Whoops! They’re immediately called out on it, and delete the thread. Luckily, Foton from AFK Gamer took a screen shot (found here on Flickr (make sure you view it at original size)), and a furl archive (found here).

Levelling to 70 as fast as humanly possible…OR ELSE

Chitsu, from Six Feet Deep on Dragonmaw, takes the levelling of his guild just a tad too seriously.

All members of the guild are expected to level to 70 as fast as humanly possible.

If you want to “experience the content” please do so after you have reached 70, or on another character.

Here is how we will be leveling:

You will log in to the game, and look for an officer. One of the officers will assign you to a 5 man group. The 5 man group will run the appropriate instance level over and over again until someone has to leave, at which point, an officer will assign a replacement.

No questing
No BGs
No ‘grinding solo’
No Tradeskills
No “farming”
No “Checking out the new races”

If you are online, you will be expected to participate in one of the groups running 5 man instances.

The only exceptions to this will be if there are not enough people for you to group with, etc. There will be PLENTY of off-hours downtime to goof off if you wish, but during prime-time, I swear to Thrall I will /gkick your ass if you are screwing around with stupid #%*! instead of participating in the leveling grind.

He gets roundly mocked, as well deserved, but never seems to admit that he could possibly be the one at fault.

Especially funny are his comments about fairness being the reason behind this nazi-levelling regime: “Having the officers assign groups is the best way to assure balance, and the best way to avoid little cliques forming and causing people to be left out,” and that “SFD members are treated more like prized athletes than kids. It’s my job to provide clear direction and focus so that our team is all on the same page working toward the same goal. It’s called leadership.”

Classic WoW Drama, Vol. 2: Serenity Now

In a game with 7 millon plus players, drama of some type is inevitable, and usually constant. Hell, in any gathering of two or more people, drama of some type is inevitable, and usually constant. Even in this constant stream, however, there are some dramas that rise above to become known throughout the WoWsphere. They become… Classic WoW Drama.

There was a woman who really enjoyed playing WoW. She died of a stroke. Her friends and guild members decided to hold an online funeral for her, in-game, so that anyone who wished could log in and walk up to her and pay their respects. They held the funeral in Wintersprings (sic). They play on a PVP server. They announced the funeral on forums and chatlines.

Can you guess what happened?

-Sharkbait

Fayejin of Illidan dies in unfortunate circumstances (or at least internet dies, who knows.) A tribute is planned where people can pay their respects in-game.

Quote: “We will be having it at the Frostfire Hot Springs in Winterspring, because she loved to fish in the game (she liked the sound of the water, it was calming for her ) and she loved snow. If you would like to come show your respects please do. We’re planning some cool stuff and we’re going to make a video of it to show her family. So I would appreciate it if nobody comes to mess things up.”

Unfortunately (well, fortunately for us), someone does mess things up: Alliance guild Serenity Now. A long line up of horde, not ready for a fight, it’s easy pickings. Red is dead, right?

Quote: “she loved fishing.”
“and snow.”
“and pvp.”

Anger ensues.

Quotes, cribbed from the video: “Yes, its real easy to be an asshole behind a keyboard and get away with it..Shows just how well shit clings to the asshole …Example: azchira and his band of dingleberries.”

“You are added to the to be camped list.”

“Congradulations you have stooped lower then any other guild in MMO history.”

“Your fucking trash, you are not good enuff to lick the dog shit from a beggers boots you fucking degenrate sorry excuses for mentaly retarded humans.”

“I hope azshira’s dad dies of a heart attack, then at the funeral some guy runs in naked and pushes the coffin over and runs around slapping people screaming LOL OWNED, then releases a video of it.”

“Seriously? Ya know why? Because you and all the rest of SN are real life pieces of shit that have nothing better to do then try to grief ppl as hardcore as possible. Instead of being REAL PVPers and entering BGs, you bitch out and gank lowbies and anally crave opportunities such as this one to make yourselves feel good inside, because IRL, ya’ll ain’t shit and ya know it.”

Serenity Now’s final words on the matter: “Sorry for your loss. Yes, we know we are assholes ”

Debate wasn’t limited to Illidan: see here, here and here.

It has begun!

Get your copy yet? Start your Draenei Shaman or Blood Elf Paladin yet? Spring for the collector’s edition?

Already people are oggling the new races. I haven’t seen a Netherwhelp yet, but I look forward to being asked a million times what the code for it was, just like when I run around with Murky.

Sometimes the immature tool on Vent really is 11

I know it’s old news (was on Digg and Joystiq last month), but this clip (alternate flashy video link) of Hobbs from Maelstrom is priceless for those in a cave who haven’t heard it yet.

“Just to let you know, my regular penis is bigger than your boner.
Just ask your mom, she knows.”
“At least I got a mom, unlike your homo dad.”

Elitemaiden: an introduction

Elitemaiden, former resident of Uldum currently plaguing Hyjal, is one of the top inspirations for the creation of this website. Every time I’ve brought up the idea of WoWDrama with compatriots from Uldum, she’s the first thing mentioned. The only problem is the sheer amount of drama that could be written about her, easily forming a tl;dr post.

In short, Elitemaiden is a sad and lonely woman who treats World of Warcraft as if it is real life. This is made hilarious by her playing on non-RP servers yet responding in character, her reporting of anyone who upsets her to Blizzard, and her amazing ability to piss off people faster than a poop-flinging monkey on PCP. In her world, anyone who plays Horde is evil, while she herself is a devout religious woman. She even compares herself transferring servers from Uldum to Hyjal to a missionary, going off into heathen lands. Add a bit of hormonal boycraziness, and you’ve got a drama delight that’s fun for the whole family!

Here’s a few of her most recent greatest hits, as well as some pertinent links to keep tabs on Uldum’s worst gift ever.

• First and foremost is her blog, kept at Xanga. RedFlowerMinnesota, a lonely self-described powerful mage, tells of her life. Gentlemen, she is still looking for Mr. Right! Unfortunately, she’s taken down a lot of the screen shots of people harassing her, but there’s still some gems left. See her account of her spat with Raypower, previously covered here on WoWDrama. That silly middle school gossip was written by a thirtysomething woman, I’m just sayin’.
• Someone else started a hate Xanga, called HyjalHatesElitemaiden. Every so often this blog calls her out on some screen shot she’s posted, which she’ll then yank from her blog. Also, some of the aforementioned shots of harassment can be found there, like the bukkake party in the Military Ward shot. Between the random videos and images, a few gems mocking her can be found. She’s been trying to get the Xanga account shut down, but hasn’t had any success as of this writing.
• Here’s an extensive conversation with Elitemaiden herself. Get a glimpse into the mind of a madwoman.
• Of course someone’s made a YTMND about the powerful mage.
• Hyjal had a Christmas gift for Uldum!

In light of recent events I feel it is my moral obligation to let the community of uldum know how welcome we here at hyjal have made elitemaiden feel.

As stated by someone before me, she has not been in any of the top 20 guilds on hyjal regardless of her supposed knowledge of end game and “powerful mage” gear.

She has formed raid partied of random people in order to enter such instances as MC, BWL and AQ40, leave the group and go afk inside the instance. Why? This seemed odd to me as well at first but when you think about it, when you do a /who ‘enternamehere’ and see AQ40 or BWL as their location you sense to some degree that the said person is good enough to enter such an instance. She understands this and assumes that people will respect her if she’s seen inside a 40 man instance when people do a /who elitemaiden. Of course it’s impossible for her to be doing anything other than picking her nose in said instances because nearly every single guild on hyjal capable of doing bwl and aq 40 have made it very clear that they will not ever allow elitemaiden in their raiding parties or guild.

She has been in a total of 4 guilds since she came to hyjal. She has been Gbooted from 3 of those guilds, 2 of which occured in less than 24 hours. One of these said guilds doesn’t even count actually, it was one she made “PVP QUEEN” in which she was the only member of and took advantage of random noobs to sign the charter. She was in that guild for roughly 1 and a half days before a coordinated effort between alliance and horde players got her killed in the middle of IF between the high traffic area of the bank and AH and people just stood there and laughed at her. So she left that guild because she clearly was not a pvp queen and she was infact a joke whom nobody likes. All these guilds in which shes claimed to have left for personal reason when questioned. But multiple officers and members of said guilds have confirmed that she was Gkicked from all of them.

Alliance and horde players of hyjal have formed a pact in which we both share a common interest in pvp situations. In battle grounds for example, if a horde player from hyjal (or any other server) is attacking elitemaiden, alliance players from hyjal have fully agreed that they will not attempt to stop the horde players who attack elitemaiden and will wait until she is dead to commence the attack on the rest of the horde players. Alliance people have gone so far as to sacrifice their winning games at times so that the horde players can farm elitemaiden.

Elitemaidens auctions are selling….Wait…They aren’t selling my mistake. 90% of hyjal has agreed to not buy a single item which is posted on the AH by her.

The only people who remotely show her any respect are those who are iggnorant to what she’s done. Everyone who has been following her trail of lies knows she is a walking catastrophy that will bring nothing but shame to whatever low end guild she manages to somehow con her way into.

Merry christmas uldum.

-Darkmetazare on Hyjal

• One of many random threads out there of people showing their love for the mighty wizard herself.

But really, no writings about her can top what she herself has graced the internet with. This entry, from her Xanga, was reproduced from her old website and is probably the most-quoted EM text out there. Enjoy.

Uldum, sometimes we know drama

In addition to the previously mentioned Elitemaiden (we’ll get to her one day, we promise, it’s just a question of working out where to begin), another Uldum forum favourite is Raypower, an over-inflated-ego-wielding guild leader who in one ROFL-worthy thread threatened to sue people for slander, with her “90% winning rate” internet lawyer.

In a delicious crushing blow (I’m au fait with the lingo) to her ego, Raypower had her account hacked. Apparently, 3 months was a bit long for her to wait. Watch her get angry, get self-important, and ultimately, get owned by an MVP and Big Blue - “ I am sorry to say that these issues are extremely time sensitive and in this particular case it seems that we were not contacted concerning the status of the account until nearly three months had passed since the investigation had been concluded. The unfortunate delay in your notification of concerns relating to the outcome of the investigation has regrettably resulted in our inability to reinvestigate the account for additional damages.”

Choice quotes:

“Get your blizzard heads out of your blizzard *****. I want ALL my stuff back and I will not take NO for an answer. And I will be very happy to post it on every realm on this game what a crappy job you did. Furthermore, I will write your President and any tech magazine I can find who will do a story on the crappy support and unpreparedness of this game to deal with fraud.

I’ve spent two years on this game and close to 500 bux to play it one account and if you think I’m taking your excuses lying down your crazy. I contacted your investigator. And your tech support person banned me from the forums after my post. I’m calling corporate. I’m tired of dealing with 22 year old support people on the forums. I contacted the investigator. He says he can’t restore the chars.

I’m tired of blizzard runaround. I’m not a 22 year old player. I’m a former sales coordinator for wired and glamour magazine,s conde’ nast publications, NY, NY. And they are about to get the whole story. So you can deal with me as a customer or you can deal with the press over the way you handle fraud. And complaints against your company on your forums. I have saved all this information. I have printed it all.

Furthermore I have been a customer for 2 years and my family presently owns 4 accounts.

And I’m not going to be treated like this by 20 year old blizzard tech children.”

Others have noticed her obsession with 22 year olds. Conde Nast must be so proud of the writing and editing skills they’ve infused Ray with.